direwoman-first-blood:

when i describe myself as evil i mean it primarily in the sense that i am an enemy of the church

l0stvegas:

Found this weird flyer in the parking lot on my way out of my doctor’s appointment today. Y’all know anything about this? Should I call the number?

wizard-council-bureaucrat:

random-meme-bot:

wizard-council-bureaucrat:

Things that ARE covered by your Wizard Insurance:

• Top Surgery
• Bottom Surgery
• Witch Encounters (one per century)
• Killed By Greg
• Middle Surgery (✨ New! ✨)

Oh for Gandalf’s Big Naturals- Fine! 😡

• Dental (✨ New! ✨) (first 1,000 teeth ONLY)

killrockstar:

do you want to come over and hang out and we can beat our legs with mallets to form bruises. or something

filmnoirsbian:

What’s wild is that you’ll have an abusive parent. And you’ll maintain a relationship with them despite your better instincts because that’s your parent and you want them to be a parent. And one day you’ll bring up all the things that they did to you because they need to be addressed. The baggage needs to be unpacked. And they’ll say what do you want me to do with this box of rotting flesh? And you’ll say I want you to acknowledge the box of rotting flesh. I want you to apologize for cutting it off of me and stuffing it into that box and then forcing the box onto me. I want you to recognize that I have been carrying this box for years. And I want you to help me carry it. And they’ll say well where’s my apology for you putting your unsuspecting body into my hands and then expecting me not to stick a knife in you? And you just have to move on because the only alternative is rotting in the box yourself.

greelin:

[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

killcatboys:

SAW TRAP write 1-2 paragraphs on a discussion post and respond to two of your classmates

techmomma:

Facts about your body after you turn 25, AKA things I wish someone had told me:

• you will get hair in fun new places. this is normal and fine.
• these places include (but are not limited to) if you don’t already have them: your asscrack, your back, your ears, and moles. it’s fine.
• some of you, dick or not, will also lose hair. this is normal, but also if you have ovaries maybe get this checked out for PCOS.
• your acne will probably change. some people get better. some people get worse. it’s fine.
• your nails will probably get an infection or a fungus at least once in your life. this is fine. (but also let your doc know).
• how you gain and lose fat and where you do so will change. this is fine.
• how you smell will change. this is fine. (fishy or rotten smells mean doctor time though)
• if you have a prostate: it gets harder to pee. prostates enlarge as you age (get this checked regularly). this is fine.
• if you do not have a prostate: it gets easier to pee but not in a good way. as in as you get older, your pelvic floor muscles tend to lose some of their strength. this makes it harder to keep pee in. this is fine.
• all breasts and pectorals eventually sag, with the rest of your body. this is fine.
• a decent percent of the population will experience a cyst at least once. some of you will make up for the rest with multiple. this is fine, but keep them checked out by a doctor. (sometimes this is a condition! get checked for that too!)
• almost half of everyone gets hemorrhoids. it’s a good idea to just expect them since your chances of getting them get higher the older you are. your toilet will look like a murder scene. definitely get your booty checked out BUT this is almost always perfectly normal. just eat more fiber. “but I already-” eat more fiber. and maybe suck it up and buy some hemorrhoid cream, you’ll thank me later.
• yes, this means you will probably need to make an appointment for a doctor to see your butthole. it’s okay. not only do they really not care but 1. they’ve seen weirder that day and 2. they’d far rather you see them now than later when it’s been going on for forty years and now it might be colon cancer. it’s okay. consider it a rite of passage.
• adults need more sleep than children. don’t believe the myth that you need less than they do. that is capitalist propaganda to make you give up more of your life to the work grind, comrade.
• vitamins and medicine, something you are more likely to take as you get older, sometimes make the toilet turn weird colors. it’s okay.
• if you still have your tonsils and get those little stones and get sore throats more than once a year you should plan on getting those suckers out before the tonsils cause an infection and go septic. if you’re getting stones at all you should get those reevaluated every year, especially if the stones are bigger than a needlehead (or get bigger over time). it’s gross and yucky. I don’t care. get them looked at before you end up in the hospital.
• you’ll probably need to add foot support to your shoes if you don’t already do. this is fine.
• your body changes. sometimes it can feel sorta weird and upsetting that it isn’t what it used to be. that is okay, and it is okay to be upset. just know that this is normal, it’s normal to be upset or not upset, but don’t let it hinder your quality of life. trans or cis, there is a certain level of acceptance you just gotta give your body and forgive your body for as you get older. it’s okay.
• it’s okay. I promise.

suddenly-sara:

huffylemon:

I adore that we’ve censored the word “sexual” on Twitter User @FAGGOTMOUTH’s tweet.

toastbutteregg:

catchymemes:

psychotic-gerard:

if you were a queer character, how would the fandom mischaracterise you?

they’d make me a butch police officer :(

uwu small bean

my fans would be on many DNI lists.

white-washed and also made skinny.

turned into the mom/dad of the group.

no personality beyond being annoying.

they’d make me masc/femme when i am the opposite.

i’d be shipped with some random person because i get in the way of popular ships

being unlabelled is seen as “project labels on and start discourse”

i’d have tiktok cult following and nowhere else.

everyone ignores the fact i am aro and/or ace

other (share in tags?)

theskydoesgreatthingsnow:

tamagotchikgs:

i m;iss when u could touch a tv and feel its fur

When an old tv died it was always very understandable. Screen busted. Tubes broke. Animal sick. Smart TVs will have psychosomatic problems that clear within a day. Ur Apple TV gets mental illness.

sighinastorm:

mothergeekness:

Anastasia wasn’t a Disney movie.  Saying it is now, simply because Disney bought Fox, is creatively anachronistic.   Don Bluth didn’t fight in the animation trenches and escape the clutches of The Mouse to have his work artistically misattributed.  I’m not dying on this hill.  I’m defending this hill.  I’m killing on this hill.

sandersstudies:

patchworkpoltergeist:

batfamfiction:

I am not a Jack O Lantern.

My name is Lewis!

Lewis~

I’m screaming. I asked my students to pick a familiar character (Santa Claus, Little Red Riding Hood, SpongeBob Squarepants) to imitate for a game and one of my students chose “Lewis.” ALL my students instantly picked up on the reference and began saying this quote back and forth to one another.

I am just now receiving this context. I thought for sure this was some character from a film I missed but nope. Target decoration